


Season of the Witch

by thisdorkyficthing



Series: Season of the Witch [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 15,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisdorkyficthing/pseuds/thisdorkyficthing
Summary: A non-linear sequel tothis fic,featuring the witchy shenanigans of Loki.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Season of the Witch [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935715
Comments: 241
Kudos: 150





	1. Candle

**Author's Note:**

> I'm using mantling dark's [ thorki trick or treat prompt list,](https://thisdorkyblogthing.tumblr.com/post/628359004814442496/themantlingdark-some-thorki-trick-or-treat) but I'm just using a number generator to pic the prompts at random to ~keep me on me toes~
> 
> First up, we have some sulky baby Loki having to do things that are, like, so beneath him.

Loki rolled his eyes as his friends shrieked with laughter. Darcy’s room was dark, lit by votive candles while Evanescence played from the CD player on her dresser. They all sat on the floor, a bowl of water in the middle of their circle, another candle still letting off wisps of smoke as Olivia fished the wax from the water.

“Loki’s turn next,” Darcy piped in, poking his arm.

“No.”

He was met with a tidal wave of protests and whining. Darcy jabbed his side with her elbow.

“Ow,” he hissed, sending a glare to his friend. She had spent the better part of the week convincing him to come to her sleepover, and the look in her eye said that she wasn’t gonna let him skip out on any of the festivities.

So, he huffed and snatched up the candle and the lighter. “My powers are being wasted on this.”

He was met with a mix of eye rolls and scoffs.

“Don’t you wanna know who you’re gonna marry someday?” Emma asked.

“I’m not getting married.” Loki said with confidence, then frowned. “Well, for Heath Ledger, I’d consider it.”

This time he was met with overwhelmingly _giggly_ agreement.

He lit the candle, holding on to it and watching the flame jerk from side to side.

Darcy nudged him. “You gotta say it.”

Loki grit his teeth, pursing his lips.

“This is so dumb.”

He sighed, shutting his eyes, so at least he could pretend he wasn’t being watched while he threw his dignity out the window.

“ _Mother goddess come to me, through the wax show to me, tell me who my true love will be._ ”

Loki pinched the flame out and poured the wax in to the water slowly, everyone leaning in to watch and take their guesses.

“It’s an I.”

“No, it’s turning into an L.”

“Whose name starts with L?”

“No, it’s definitely a T!”

The last drop of wax fell in to the water and Loki set the candle down, watching as the wax floated along the surface of the water.

“Ooh, there’s a Travis in our biology class, maybe it’s him,” Desiree suggested.

Loki gave her a flat look. “I would never touch a man named Travis, let alone marry one.”

Darcy smirked. “I bet it’s Thor.”

Loki shot her a look. “Don’t even start.”

“Who’s Thor?”

“One of Ian’s nerd friend’s that we’re stuck in study hall with.”

“Aw, c’mon, he’s nice,” Darcy said, leaning against Loki. “He’s totally your future husband.”

“He has a girlfriend,” Loki pointed out.

“For _now_ ,” Darcy insisted, looking like her opinion would not be swayed. “I saw the way he looked at you the other day, he had the look of man who craves dick.”

Squeals and giggles all around. Loki made a silent vow to never come to a sleepover ever again.

“Well, I’m never getting married anyway, so who even cares.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sure bud, we'll see how that works out for ya.


	2. Mull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some bbyThor _mulling_ over his very scary and confusing crush!

Jane said she’d be done with astronomy club stuff by now. Thor huffed, shifting around in his chair as he waited for her to get online and reply to his message, staring at the ceiling for a minute before boredom got to him. He contemplated Jane’s MySpace page for a few moments, his eyes drifting towards he top 8. He chewed on his thumbnail as he brought the cursor to Darcy’s slot.

He clicked quickly, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks and nervous flip-flopping his stomach was doing while the page loaded. He muted the song before it could really kick off, eyes darting to her top 8.

_xXxSnakeVenomDreamxXx_

_Online Now!_

Thor’s breath was caught in his throat. Why was he so nervous? Why did Loki always make him so nervous?

He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring at Loki’s profile picture. Black bangs covering half his face, one unnaturally green eye staring back at him, judging him. He clicked on his profile, terrified and exhilarated as his eardrums were blasted with grinding guitar rifts and eyes met with green font on black background. And flaming pentagrams. He glanced back at the door after pausing the music, hoping no one heard. He scrolled around for bit, trying to ignore the pull he felt to click on his photos.

He couldn’t help but look a little, find that Loki had just uploaded a new one. Clicking on it sent his heart racing once again, his eyes going wide to try and absorb it all. It was the same outfit he’d worn at school that day- a big hoodie that hung off his shoulders, and one of those little strappy tank tops that Thor had only seen girls wear before, showing off his pale chest and long neck. He looked better in them, if Thor was being honest. Loki always wore a bunch of jewelry too, bracelets stacked on his wrists and so many rings, those long dangly necklaces that he would tug on and twist around. It made him jingle a bit as he walked, always drawing Thor’s attention when they were in the same room.

He scrolled down a bit, seeing that someone had commented.

_Hey cutie, wanna talk?_

He looked older, tougher, posing in front of gleaming car. Loki’s reply was just under it, his profile pic staring a hole in Thor’s forehead.

_Depends on what you want to talk about ;)_

It felt like a punch to the gut, skin going from hot to cold. He didn’t know why he felt like this, why did Loki make him feel so much.

He clenched and gnawed and tried to figure out what the hell was going on with him. Is that what Loki likes? Big guys? Older guys? Wait- why do I care about what _Loki_ likes? Wasn’t I waiting to talk to Jane?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard his mom knock on the door or come in.

“Darling?”

Thor jumped, body shaking with the jolt of adrenaline pumping through him. He scrambled to close out of the page, knowing deep down that his mom had already seen his screenful of Loki. And why was he so panicked about her seeing it anyway? She’d seen him on MySpace before, seen him looking at the pictures his friends posted before, why was he being like this? He was breathing too hard. Why couldn’t he calm down?

His mother’s expression was soft, but curious. Thor couldn’t look at her, it already felt like she could look too deep in to him sometimes and that was too scary to deal with right now.

“Computer time is up,” she said softly.

Thor would usually try and beg for a little more time, but he was happy to have any excuse to get away from this right now. He didn’t hesitate to shut the computer down, feeling his mom’s eyes on the back of his neck.

She followed him out, just behind him as they walked down the narrow hallway to his bedroom. He had his hand on the doorknob when he felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder. He turned at her gentle nudging, doing his best to look her in the eye.

Her smile was warm, pushing his hair off his face as she looked at him.

“You know, if you ever need to talk to me about anything, I’m always ready to listen,” she said, her voice and touch managing to slow the beat of his heart. Pushing his hair back, she pressed a kiss to his temple, hands dropping to his shoulders with a quick squeeze before she stepped away.

Thor opened his door with slippery palms, his jumbled thoughts still thrashing around in his head. He gripped the doorknob tighter and looked over his shoulder to his mom’s back.

He bit his lip, weighing his options.

“Hey, mom?”

She stopped and turned back to him. “Yes?”

“Could we talk, uh, right now?”

She smiled. “Of course, darling.”

Thor sighed, shoulders dropping. “On the back porch?”

“It’ll be a little cold, should I make us tea?”

Thor nodded, chewing on his lip. His mom opened her arm out to him, beckoning him over. Thor shut his door, letting her guide him downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god, I love thinking about Loki having The Most embarrassing myspace page...


	3. Fae

Sent: 5:34pm

Wanna do something tonight?

Sent: 8:47pm

sorry babe :/ stuck studying all night

  
  


Loki sighed, shoving his phone back in his pocket. The evening was just past being chilly and making it's way to full blown cold, a hard breeze blowing right through Loki and his thin sweatshirt. The walk to his dorm was unusually quiet. He hadn't seen a single person since he left the library. Yeah, sure, it was a Wednesday night and the temperature was dropping like lead, but he still usually saw _some_ people out and about. It wasn't even late!

He couldn't tell if it was the cold or the eerie silence that made him shiver, the hair on his arms standing on end. He came to stop under one of the streetlights, turning to look towards the row of bushes and trees that ran parallel to the sidewalk.

He squinted at the darkness, knowing that something was there.

He caught a glimpse of someone ducking behind a tree, a faint childlike giggle following it. Loki stepped closer, cautiously, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Hello?"

He crept closer, getting on his toes to try and see over the overgrown bushes. He fell back as he felt the book he was holding get yanked from his hands, whoever it was giggling as they ran off.

"What the fuck!?" Loki stumbled back on to his feet, chasing after the kid(it had to be a kid, right? it sounded like it...) through the dark. Low branches smacked and scratched him, and all he could do was follow the sound of feet before him. It wasn't long before he saw more streetlights through the trees, yellow light glinting off the windshields of row after row of cars. Loki tripped on a gnarly root, tumbling out on to a patch grass at the border of the parking lot at one of the other dorms. Loki got on to his hands and knees, the kid who had taken his book seeming to have vanished. Loki was still, panting and heart racing, ears ringing slightly in the silence.

Still trying to make sense of what just happened, he finally noticed that he was at his boyfriend's building, practically next to the window in his boyfriend's room. His boyfriend and his roommate never bothered to get any curtains, so he could see right inside, could see his boyfriend in bed with some other guy bouncing on his lap.

Loki's mouth dropped in shock, not blinking as he watched his boyfriend fucking someone else and grabbing his ass like his life depended on it.

Loki stomped up to the window, pounding on the glass with both fists.

"Looks like you're studying real fucking hard, you fucking piece of shit!"

His boyfriend jolted, shoving the other guy off him as he fell off the bed and lumbered to his feet, tripping on his sheet as he tried to get to the window.

"Wait- Loki, babe, just wait!" came muffled through the window as he tried frantically to pull it open. "I can explain-"

"You can explain having your dick in some other guy's ass?" Loki laughed, sounding manic to his own ears. "You know what? You should go in to law, you'd be great at it!"

People had begun to take notice, faces filling the windows. Great, just fantastic.

The window had finally opened a crack. "Loki, babe, please-"

"Don't fucking _Loki, babe_ me, asshole, we're over."

" _Loki, c'mon! Loki!-_ "

Loki ignored him, stomping off. His head pounded with rage, walking aimlessly.

He'd nearly forgotten about the whole reason he'd ended up at his boyfriend's dorm until through the cloud of anger he caught a glimpse of an open book on the ground. He glanced around, seeing no sign of whoever it was that had taken it, before walking over to pick it up.

It was open to the section about fairy myths and folklore, which seemed a little on the nose. He looked around again, nothing seeming to be amiss.

"I'm gonna have to set out a bowl of milk..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fairies Bein' Bros


	4. Carve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's first spell doesn't go as planned.

Loki tiptoed down the hall, holding his breath as he approached his parent's bedroom. The door was cracked open, letting him get a peak inside. His parents were both still, his father snoring faintly, and Loki finally exhaled. He kept moving, hanging on to the railing for dear life as he climbed down the stairs, avoiding the ones that squeaked and would give him away.

He slinked through the living room, making his way for the den, when the dog popped up from his bed tucked beside his dad's recliner. Loki let out a startled squeak before he could hold it back, clapping both hands over his mouth as Bear trotted up to him.

He began to whine and Loki shushed him, letting Bear shove him around and slobber all over is face.

"Stop- Stop!" Loki whispered, pushing him off and wiping his face off with the sleeve of his old, tattered bathrobe. "C'mon, just be quiet."

Bear followed close behind, tail wagging as Loki gathered his supplies. One of his mom's candles and a box of matches, salt from the kitchen, and his grandfather's hunting knife he kept on one of the shelves in the den.

He took it all out with him to the backyard, Bear still following right behind as Loki found just the right spot. He picked a clear spot towards the back of the yard, lit perfectly by the full moon.

He set his supplies down on the ground, commanding Bear to sit and pushing his butt to the ground when he didn't listen. Bear watched, tail wagging and panting as Loki sat down, taking the candle and knife. He carved a symbol he'd found on a website in to the wax. His lines were wobbly, but it wasn't too bad. He did his best to scrub the wax off the tip of the blade with his robe.

He felt nervous, but excited. He'd been researching for days, since he'd seen The Craft on tv. He took a deep breath, holding one hand over the unlit candle and holding the knife with the other. He swallowed, heart beating fast as stretched his open. He pressed the tip of the knife to his palm, sliding it across-

_**"OW!"** _

He dropped the knife and snatched his hand to his chest. Bear shot up to his feet, barking and whining as he practically tackled Loki to the ground. He could see a light in his parents' room turn on, and he knew it was over. It wasn't a minute later before his mom and dad were at the back deck.

His mom came running out to him first, pulling Bear off him. "What the hell are you doing- Is that blood!?"

His mother's voice began to rise with panic, and Loki could feel his face getting hot with shame. "It's not-"

"I was just-"

"It's not that bad!" Loki cried out with a sniffle.

His mom dragged him on to his feet, taking his face with both hands to look him over as his dad marched up behind her, looking down at the ground.

"Is that my dad's hunting knife?" His father bent over, picking up the bloodied knife and the candle.

Loki shrunk down in to his shoulders, pouting up at his parents. His dad showed her the candle, and her mouth went slack with shock before going hard.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you watch that movie!"

Loki slumped down even more, weeping softly as his mom dragged him back inside.

He was lead back upstairs and in to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet with his hand held over the sink, he looked down at the floor as his mother dug out the first aid kit.

"I hope you won't need stitches," she mumbled, popping the box open before uncurling Loki's fingers. She sighed, shaking her head as she turned on the faucet and grabbed the hand towel.

"Sorry mama," Loki said, feeling pitiful as he looked up at her.

She sighed again, heavily, some of the anger on her face falling away. "What on earth were you trying to do, sweetie?"

Loki had a feeling telling her he was trying to summon Baphomet might not be the best idea, shrugging and pouting some more instead.

She huffed, shaking her head as she finished up rinsing the blood off his hand. He cried out as she poured peroxide over it, fresh tears pouring out as his palm throbbed in pain.

Another door opened, his older brother Helblindi's head popping in to the doorway. "What happened to him?"

"Loki cut his hand."

He could see his brother's face twist up in confusion from the corner of his eye.

"How?"

His dad came plodding along down the hall, clearly still groggy. "He was doing some satanic crap out in the backyard."

Hel burst out in laughter. "You fucking idiot!"

His mother's head snapped to him. "Don't talk to you're little brother like that!"

"He is!"

"You can go back to you're room now," she said, with _that_ voice. His brother complied, grumbling as he went back to his room.

"You're not an idiot, sweetie," his mother told him as she bandaged his hand, "you're just... impressionable."

Loki wiped his nose on the sleeve of his robe, looking up at her with wet eyes.

"Oh, sweetheart," she cooed, taking his face in to her hands again and kissing his forehead. "No more playing with knives, okay? And leave the magic to the movies."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they really make that whole palm cutting thing look easy-peasy in the movies.


	5. Leaf-Peeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki & Thor Get So Fucking Cozy

Loki finds a free bench, brushing the leaves off before sitting down. He takes a deep breath of the crisp air and lets it out with a content sigh. It's a lovely day to be out, and a lot of people seem to agree, since the park is brimming with people. The tree that's next to the bench provides enough shade that Loki pushes his sunglasses up to the top of his head.

He spots Thor coming up from the corner of his eyes, reaching up to take one of the cups from his hand as he approaches.

"The apple fritters looked really good, so I got a couple of those too."

Loki hums as he takes of careful sip of his cider, groaning in delight. "Oh, this was a good idea."

Thor chuckles, scooting closer and draping an arm around Loki.

"Miss your phone?"

Loki scoffs, " _miss_ it? No. Feel a vague sense of dread about checking my work email and seeing some emergency my manager's incompetence created? Absolutely."

"Ah, well, at least you got an apple fritter?"

"Mmm." Loki snatched up the bag and set it in his lap, digging out one of the fritters and taking a bite. He moaned, letting his flutter shut. "Oh yeah, that's worth it."

Thor leaned in, lips brushing Loki's cheek before diving forward and stealing bite.

"Hey! You have your own!"

"Yeah, but my hands are full."

Loki rolled his eyes, but still held the fritter out to Thor and let him steal another bite. Thor smiled, squeezing Loki's shoulder.

They stayed at the park for another hour, getting another cup of cider to drink while they walked around, only leaving as the sun started to dip down.

"Shall we take the scenic route?" Loki offered as they got back to his car.

"How soon do you want to get to those emails?" Thor teased, settling in to the passenger seat.

Loki shot a heatless glare at Thor as he stuck the key in the ignition. "Scenic route it is."

Thor laughed, the two of them settling in for a ride.

It felt sort of dreamy, everything washed in golden sunlight, the leaves bright and fiery, the wind cool as it whipped their hair around. Thor had a hand on his thigh, mouth curved in to a peaceful smile. The road was empty, winding around hills, the houses spaced far apart, farms filling in the space between them.

"Wouldn't it be nice to live somewhere like this?"

Loki hummed in agreement. "It would be so much quieter."

Thor's hand left his leg briefly to stretch and yawn. "We could get naked and dance under the moon and not become someone's shamey post on Nextdoor."

Loki laughed. "What's with you and the naked moon dancing?"

"It sounds fun! I can't believe _you've_ never tried it."

"The right opportunity has never presented itself, I guess."

"If we move to a place like this, then we'll have to do it."

Loki's face felt hot, his cheeks aching from smiling. "And when will that be?"

Thor shrugged, looking out the window as they passed a bunch of cows. "When the right house shows up."

"Alright then," Loki said, eyeing a small house up ahead, his imagination already running off on its own, dreaming up all sorts of obnoxiously mundane and cozy scenes for the two of them.

"But what music will we dance to?"

" _Ooh_." Thor scratched his chin. "Would Stevie Nicks be too on the nose?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know the best music for naked moon dancing is [10 HOUR AIR HORN](https://youtu.be/QPM6FFD2eCk)


	6. Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is a Whole Damn Meal

"Dinner tonight at my place?"

Loki smiled out at the road, he could hear the big, hopeful grin on Thor's voice.

"Sounds good, what are you thinking?"

"Oh, I got an idea, but it's surprise."

Loki laughed softly, rolling his eyes. "Alright, can the surprise wait until after I feed Morticia and change?"

"It'll be waiting very impatiently, but yes, it can."

"I see you in a bit."

"In a bit."

-

Morticia let out a cranky meow at him as he slipped out the door, walking across the porch to Thor's door. He tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and raked a hand through his hair before knocking, smiling when he hears Thor rush up to the door before it opening it.

Thor was breathless, shirtless, and blushing down to his navel. The sight made Loki's brain buffer for a moment, his mouth frozen at the beginning of a greeting.

"Hey," Thor huffed, taking Loki by the shirt to drag him inside and shut the door.

"Hey," Loki's eyes dragged up and down Thor's body again, "did I interrupt something?"

"No," Thor said with a shake of his head, his hair falling loose from the bun that was drooping off the top of his head, "just lost track of time."

"Doing what?"

Thor let out a breathy chuckle, pulling Loki against him, their lips brushing. "Getting the surprise ready."

He Loki's wrists, pulling his hands around and pressing Loki's hands flat against his lower back. He slid Loki's hands down, the waistband of his boxers catching on Loki's fingertips. He kept going until Loki's hands were fully cupping his ass, his boxers slipping down his legs.

"Oh."

Loki moved a hand over slightly, feeling slickness at the start of his cleft.

" _Oh_."

Thor's eyes fluttered as Loki's fingers continued searching, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip. "Mhmm."

"Bed?"

Thor kicked off his boxers as they scrambled up the stairs, Loki's tore at his clothes like they were burning him, nearly tripping up the stairs as his ankles got trapped in his bunched up underwear and jeans. They fell onto Thor's bed, the frame squeaking. The bedding was a mess, still holding a bit of warmth where Thor had been stretching himself for Loki. The thought made Loki shiver, sliding a hand down Thor's body to fist his cock. Thor moaned in to his mouth, wrapping his fist around Loki's as his hips started to jerk.

When Thor's moans started to become more desperate, Loki pulled away. He climbed between Thor's thighs, resting his hands on the thick, tensed muscle just above his knees.

"Why didn't you just ask, if you wanted me to fuck you?"

Thor shrugged, his eyes dark and lazy as he stared at Loki. "Thought this would be more fun."

Loki let out a breathless laugh, pushing his hair off his face. "You were right about that."

Thor pulled his thighs farther apart, his expression full of want. Loki let out a shaky breath, falling forward, planting a hand next to Thor's shoulder while he guided his cock in to Thor's hole.

They both groaned as Loki pushed his way inside. Loki kept his thrusts slow at first, hissing through his teeth as Thor clenched around his cock. Thor couldn't seem to hold in any of the desperate sounds he was making, cursing under his breath as he rolled his hips with Loki's thrusts.

"Is this my dinner?" Loki huffed as he wrapped his fist around Thor cock, drawing out a long, tight whine.

A smile flickered over his face as he took a deep breath. "Kinda, I thought we could order pizza later."

Loki laughed, collapsing on to Thor's chest, his rhythm thrown off. He kissed Thor's chest, smiling softly as he worked his way up to Thor's lips. Thor's hands ran up and down Loki's back, coming to rest on Loki's ass, encouraging Loki to move faster. Loki snapped his hips, enjoying the gasps and whines it wrung out of Thor, his cock throbbing in Loki's hand.

It didn't take long for Thor to come, crying out Loki's name as he shook from head to toe. Loki followed soon after, coming undone at the sight of Thor so wrecked. He flopped down beside Thor, shaky and exhausted.

"We'll have to have pizza over on my side," Loki said as he rolled on to his side, reaching out to caress Thor's chest, "Morticia was mad at me for leaving her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had something completely different for this prompt, but I was really not feeling it, and then I was too damn tired to redo the damn thing last night SO NOW WE GOT THIS AND I'M A DAY BEHIND. I wish it was better but I am still tired af today and I just wanted this prompt to be DONE, dammit.


	7. Dig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things(shitty ex-boyfriends) can only be cleansed by fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't try this at home kids, Loki is a professional Chaotic Bastard.

Loki snarled, slamming his laptop. As he continued to seethe, a small, rational voice in the back of his mind reminded him that he needed his laptop. With gritted teeth, he opened his laptop again, feeling a mixture of relief at seeing the screen un-cracked and rage at the dip shit that he'd been seeing up until _yesterday_ was already _"in a relationship"_ with that coworker that he'd sworn up, down, and sideways he had absolutely no interest in.

Yeah, _sure_ , Loki was just being weird and paranoid. Fucker.

"Loki..?"

Loki was huffing and puffing as his head snapped to his roommate, Ashley, sitting on the couch.

"You cool?"

Loki clenched his jaw, shutting his eyes as he took a deep breath. He smiled at her wickedly at her when he'd gathered himself.

"You wanna learn some witchcraft?"

Ashley stared at him with wide eyes. "Sure."

Loki got up from the table, heading to his bedroom. "Cool, get dressed then, we gotta get somewhere secluded."

-

"Why do we need the shovel?" Ashley asked with a note of panic to her voice, eyeing the garbage bag full of his ex-shithead's shirts and other paraphernalia in the backseat.

"We're going to burn him, figuratively," Loki said, feeling calm as he drove down a dark road, looking for the perfect spot.

"Why can't you just block him," Ashley muttered, sinking in to the passenger seat.

-

Loki hissed as he scooped more dirt on to the pile, sinking the tip of the shovel into the dirt as he examined his red palms. "I'm gonna have so many blisters."

"You sure this isn't a bit... much?"

Loki looked up at his roommate, tilting his head. "That shit head was lying to me for months, this is downright nice of me."

Ashley sighed, readjusting her grip on the flashlight.

"Once, I cursed a guy with a chronically limp dick after I caught him cheating on me."

"Did it work?"

Loki huffed, "well, I couldn't really see for myself, but from what I heard..." Loki smiled and shrugged.

Ashley's eyebrow lifted in interest. "You can do that?"

Loki grinned up at her. "Got any shitty exes?"

She tilted her head.

"We can discuss it on the ride back." Loki hopped out of the hole, declarign it deep enough for his purposes. He grabbed the bag next to Ashley, dumping out it's contents out unceremoniously in to the hole.

"Lighter fluid?"

Ashley handed him the can, Loki took a few grounding breathes as he drizzled the lighter fluid over the pile, holding his hand out for the matches next.

"Fire extinguisher?"

She picked it up off the ground, shaking it around. "Got it."

Loki ripped out a few matches, striking them in one swift move and tossing them in to the hole. It lit up with a whoosh, the two of them stepping back from the sudden heat in the chilly night.

"What now?" Ashely whispered, watching the flames.

Loki took a half step closer, shutting his eyes. "I'm visualizing his demise."

The silence was palpable. Loki chuckled.

"I'm not trying to kill him, I just want him to get fired, maybe catch a few STDs."

"...Oh, okay."

Loki stood like that until the fire died down, he stirred it with the shovel, making sure that everything was good and burnt before shoveling the dirt over the smoldering remains.

"Is that it?"

"Well, I'm gonna take a bath when we get home, but otherwise, yes."

"Is that really it?"

"What were you expecting, cloaks, lots of candles, summoning demons?"

"Kinda..."

Loki laughed. "I save that for special occasions."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and his roommate buying a shovel, lighter fluid, and matches at like, 11 at night:
> 
> Cashier: haha wow, got a special night planned?
> 
> Loki: just gonna give a man what he deserves :)
> 
> Ashley: O_O


	8. Superstition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Loki got his 'Tish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, 'how vaguely can we connect the story to the prompt.'

The woman who lead him to the back of the shelter looked even more excited about this than he did.

"This is the best room in the place," she said.

"Yeah?" Loki replied, distracted. He was weirdly nervous after filling out all that paperwork. Was he really prepared for this? He wanted it, he'd wanted a cat since he knew cats were things that existed, but, like, maybe he was gonna fuck it up. Maybe he shouldn't be doing this right now, he just broke up and moved in to a new place, it's a lot of responsibility...

But, also, he like, _really_ wanted a cat.

The woman peeked in to the window on the door, grabbing the knob as she looked back at him. "Move fast, we got a few wily ones."

Loki nodded, stepping in closer and readying himself.

They both rushed in to the large room, greeted by a cacophony of loud meows. It was the most cats Loki had ever seen in one room. Some were huddled in little enclosures that lined the walls, or climbing around on cat trees. There were a few clustered at his feet, and Loki smiled as he reached down and took turns petting each one.

"How do I even choose," Loki muttered to himself, sitting down on the floor carefully.

"I know, right!?"

After a few minutes of cats and kittens coming to him to sate their passing interest, Loki got back to his feet, walking slowly around the room as the worker cooed and played with some of the cats off to the side.

He was looking aimlessly, starting to feel weirdly hopeless after a bit. They were all adorable, of course, and he could probably be happy picking one of the friendlier ones, but for some reason none of them felt _right_.

There was a long, high pitched mew a few feet away from his head. When he looked, he saw a tiny black paw reaching out from between the skinny bars of one of the handful of shut cages. The fuzzy little black kitten screamed at him again, face pressed between the bars as she stretched her arm as far as she could.

"Can I see this one?"

The woman jolted where she was, laying on the floor with a few cats crawling over her. She hoisted herself up from the floor, hustling over to him. "Sure, no problem."

"Why is this one locked up?" he asked while she unlatched the door, scooping the squirmy kitten from her jail cell.

"She likes to start fights with the other cats," she explained, "and has managed to sneak out of the room a few times."

She handed her to Loki, the kitten clinging instantly onto him. He could feel her claws pricking his collarbone as she sunk in to his shirt to climb up by his neck. Loki smiled, tilting his head as she snuggled in, her silky ears flicking his cheek.

"She's the last of her litter, people still kinda get weird about black cats these days," the woman went on, "so stupid, right?"

This is it, this is his cat. "I'll take her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bbyMorticia in her cage: TAKE ME BITCH, YOU KNOW YOU WANT THIS AESTHETIC.


	9. Unearth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, witchcraft runs in the family.

Loki was slouching at the furthest end of the couch, shuffling his tarot deck just to give his hands something to do while his mom and the other assorted female relatives all gossiped and rehashed old family stories.

It was better than going out fishing, at least.

He felt someone watching him, his hands going still as he looked over to his great -grandma sitting in his dad's recliner, watching him quietly.

"What is it you got there, sweetheart?"

Loki straightened out the deck and he held them up for her to see. "They're tarot cards, I got them the other day."

She squinted at them, before her face lit up with recognition. "Ooh, let me see," she said, beckoning him over.

Loki got up, feeling a little startled at her enthusiasm. He crouched down beside her, handing her the cards. She pushed her glasses farther up the bridge of her nose as she began to look through them.

"Well, aren't these gorgeous," she smiled as she looked at him.

"Thanks," Loki said with an awkward laugh, for lack of a better response.

"You know my sister Iris used to read these," she explained, "she was in to all sorts of things like that."

Loki's eyebrows shot up in shock and curiosity. "Really?"

"Oh yes, she had all sorts of strange little knick-knacks and a remedy for anything you can think of," she went one, looking through the cards. She stopped, looking back at Loki. "You know, I think I still have some of her stuff packed away somewhere, you could have it, if you're interested?"

Loki blinked a few times. "Yes I would very much like to have it."

She smiled and patted Loki's shoulder. "Oh, I'm sure she would love to have someone use her things again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki's parents were thinking this whole witch thing was just gonna be a passing teenage phase and then he inherits Great Aunt Iris' most prized witchy possessions. 
> 
> Now Loki's like, IT WAS MEANT TO BE ALL ALONG!!


	10. Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to Meet Mom

Loki was wringing his hands raw in the passenger seat. Thor reached over, grabbing one and pulling it away from his lap.

"They're gonna love you," he said softly, kissing Loki's knuckles.

Loki huffed. "Sorry, I just haven't really done this much before."

Thor wove their fingers together, giving his hand a light squeeze. "It's okay."

He could hear Loki practically hyperventilating as they climbed out of the car, his hands visibly shaking as he fussed with the drape-y opening of his sweater.

Loki looked down at his hands, nails freshly painted and fingers decorated with rings. "Maybe I should have worn something a little less-?"

"Shh." Thor grabbed one of Loki's hands and gave him a peck on the cheek, "You look perfect."

Loki sighed quietly, and let Thor drag him to the front door.

His mother was the one to answer, the bells on the doorknob chiming. Her smile was bright and warm as she beckoned them inside. Thor smiled, feeling right at home when the familiar scent of incense hit his nose. He glanced over to Loki, finding his boyfriend had gone all wide-eyed, staring at a bundle of herbs hanging on the wall.

His mother beamed at him, cupping his cheeks and pulling Thor in for a hug. "Ugh, I swear, you somehow get taller every time I see you."

She sighed as she pulled away, her focus moving to Loki. "And you're the Loki I've always heard so much about," she said, pulling him in swiftly for a hug while Loki was still stunned.

She took Loki's hands into hers as she pulled away, taking notice of all the rings he was wearing.

"Oh look, we match!" She held out her hands, wiggling her fingers to show off her own assortment of rings.

Loki chuckled, looking over at Thor as his mother turned away, leading them in to the living room.

"Come on and get settled in, I have tea and cookies waiting," she said, "I got get Odin."

Loki was looking all around the living room, the shelves packed with books and crystals and little statues that were staples of Thor's childhood. Thor nudged Loki to sit down on the couch, sitting down next to him and pouring the tea.

"You know, you could've mentioned your mom is a witch."

Thor let out a scoff of laughter. "What? I thought it was obvious, I mean, I bought her crystals for mother's day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is just Frigga with Dark Mode enabled lmao


	11. Crypt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your Dad is a Bro.

Loki slumped further as he saw his dad's car coming down the street. He laid his head on his forearms, shivering faintly as the adrenaline rush from being chased by the cops faded. It didn't help that he hadn't worn a jacket a jacket and a mesh top wasn't doing much against the cool, damp night air.

He stood up off the curb as his dad parked behind the cop car, keeping his face turned down as his dad talked with the cop. He was given another quick, stern warning before he went back in to his car and drove off.

Laufey sighed, going back to his car without a word. Loki followed, slipping in to the passenger seat.

The first few minutes were spent in silence, before his dad sighed once again.

"A graveyard, really?"

Loki curled in to himself, clasping his hands and jamming them between his thighs.

"What the hell were you trying to do?"

"It was for a spell..." Loki muttered.

"I figured _that_ ," his dad huffed, "is that why you were trying to break in to a friggin' crypt?"

"I didn't want to do that," Loki denied vehemently, sitting up and finally looking at his dad. "Amora wanted-"

" _Amora_ -" Laufey grumbled, "of course you were out with her."

Loki sunk down again, noticing that they weren't heading home. Loki frowned.

"Where are we going?"

"I can't tell your mom that you were caught messing with graves," Laufey explained, "I don't need her worrying about failing as a mother or something like that, so tonight, you snuck out and went to a party, got a little drunk, the cops caught you guys for being too loud or something."

Loki nodded, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

They pulled in to a gas station, his dad leaving him in the car while he ran inside.

He came back with a tall can of beer, handing it to Loki as he got back behind the wheel.

"Drink that before we get home."

Loki looked at his dad, wide-eyed.

Laufey rolled his eyes. "You want mom to believe the story, or do you want to spend your Friday nights in therapy until you leave for college?"

Loki cracked it open and took a large swig, grimacing and coughing after choked it down. "Oh my god, this is so fucking gross."

"Well, I wasn't gonna by you something _good_."

Loki forced down the beer, sip by miserable sip. Soon, he felt a fuzzy warmth come over him, everything feeling looser and less dire.

"Why the hell do you like hanging out with those two girls anyway?"

He turned his head to his dad, frowning at the serious look on his face.

"They're such..." Laufey gestured with one hand, face twisted up. "They're _mean_ , and look at the shit they drag you in to."

Loki looked down at the can in his lap, gnawing on his lip. "They're the only ones who take magic seriously."

"Is that really worth it?"

Loki bit his lip hard, shrugging his shoulders.

"Look, I don't want to try and tell you who you can be friends with," Laufey sighed again, heavily, "but you need to think _hard_ about who you hang around with, if they're the kind of people you want to be associated with."

Loki nodded, choking down as much of the beer as he could manage as they finally pulled back on to their street, feeling nauseous as they finally parked in the driveway. His dad took the can from him as Loki fiddled with his seat belt buckle, getting out and tossing it by the garbage can at the side of the house.

He open the passenger door just as Loki finally freed himself. "I'll deal with that later."

Loki stood up and swayed on his feet, gravity suddenly feeling much intense than it ever had been before. Loki blinked owlishly at his dad as he put a hand on his shoulder and steadied him.

"This is you're first time drinking, isn't it?"

Loki nodded.

Laufey chuckled. "How is it?"

"Bad."

Laufey chuckled harder. "Consider it you're punishment for dragging me out of bed at 3am."

Laufey held Loki by the arm, guiding him in to the house where his mom was waiting, clearly up and fretting the whole time. Loki felt his face heat with shame, looking down at the floor.

"What the hell were you doing? I have been worried sick."

Loki felt himself pouting automatically at the harsh tone of her voice.

"Darling, I know you're mad," his dad chimed in, his voice low and soothing.

His mom stomped up to them, grabbing Loki's chin to look at his face.

"I'm sorry mama," he said in his smallest, meekest voice.

She huffed, her face softening.

"He was just out partying and it got too rowdy," his dad continued, "you know how kids get."

She exhaled harshly through her nose, glancing at his dad.

"Let's try and get some sleep and figure out what to do in the morning, alright?"

Loki gave her his best puppy dog eyes. _Please, yes, just let me go to my room._

"Get to your room," she snapped, gesturing harshly towards the stairs.

Loki scurried off, stumbling and catching himself a couple times as he rushed to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laufey: I Love My Weird Gay Son


	12. Premonition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki shows his love in unconventional ways.

Loki was out of breath when he finally got to the bridal sweet, knocking on the door rapidly. On of the bridesmaids answered, Lea's sister or cousin or something like that, he couldn't remember. He carefully pushed passed her in to the room.

He spotted Lea at the opposite end of the room and made his way to her. She fussed with her gown as she stood in the mirror, turning as she saw him coming up, looking slightly panicked.

"Everything okay?"

"Everything's perfect," he said, reaching in to his pocket and pulling out a small sachet and handing it to her. "I just needed to give you this."

She looked at the small pink bag he handed her, feeling the small rock in it. "What is it?"

"It's for good luck and love and stuff," he explained, "just, like, hide it somewhere in your dress so you don't trip."

Lea raised an eyebrow.

"Okay? Cool, I got to go finish getting ready," Loki said, already hustling back to the door, "You look beautiful, by the way! Helblindi doesn't deserve you!"

Lea looked at the door in confusion for another moment, looking at the sachet again.

One of Loki's cousins grinned. "That means he likes you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki gifts the happy couple some bundles of dried herbs and when Helblindi is like 'why tf did you give us dry plants??' Loki's like, 'first of all they're HERBS you uncultured swine and two, hang them over your doors to keep the Bad Shit out.'


	13. Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki hits his romantic life rock bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied/referenced domestic violence.

The drive was long enough that the fiery anger that had been propelling him had dissipated, the full weight of what just happened had finally set in.

A wave of embarrassment crashed over him next. No one had liked this guy. His mom had _begged_ him to wait before moving to be with him. Did Loki listen? No, of _course_ not, they never like the guys he dated, so what else was new.

Loki had a rock in his throat as he drove through the dark night, as many of his most important and precious possessions packed hastily in to whatever bags and boxes he could get his hands on rattling around in the backseat of his car.

He was trembling all over when he finally pulled in to his parent's driveway. Weak, nauseous, and utterly defeated, he shambled his way up to the front door. His fist hovered, hesitating. His dad might be the one to answer, and right now, he's not sure hows he was gonna manage to face him. He'd call his mom and tell her he's here, but his phone got smashed in the midst of the whole... incident.

He sighed, his arm dropping to his side. He walked over to the porch swing, the chains squeaking as he curled up on it and fell asleep.

"Loki?"

Loki groaned as he woke up, aching from head to toe.

His vision cleared just as his mom walked out on to the front porch and saw him, her mouth going slack in shock.

He grimaced and looked away from her as he sat up, his face going hat.

"Sweetie," her voice was thready, her hands cupping his face carefully.

"You were all right," Loki said, his voice tight as he fought the urge to sob. He lost the battle a moment later, tears burning the scratch on his cheek.

"Oh sweetheart." He could hear that she had started to cry as well, making him sob harder. She sat beside him, pulling him in to a hug. He sat there, weeping on to his mother's neck until he heard his dad coming down the stairs and grumbling about the front door being open.

Loki hissed as he wiped at his face too roughly, his mom running a hand through his messy hair.

"What the hell-"

Loki stared down at his lap, his whole body trembling as he inhaled deeply. The silence was drawn out.

"Did he do that to you?"

Loki's face twisted, fresh tears falling as he shut his eyes tightly.

His dad growled, stomping back inside. The garage started opening a moment later, his dad prowling out in his boxers and shoes, talking on the phone as he carried his set of rarely used golf clubs to his car.

Loki whimpered, "oh no," burying his face in his hands, while his mother shot up and chased after his dad.

"Honey, wait, don't go and do something stupid!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laufey to Helblindi & Byleister: the day has finally come where we must kill one of your little brother's garbage boyfriends.
> 
> (Farbauti would talk them out of it, eventually)


	14. Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor loves him some guyliner.

Loki was still out of practice with putting on eyeliner, his eye watering as he veered off his waterline, having to take moment to blink away the blur of tears and grab a tissue of the nightstand to clean up before going back at it.

He smudged the eyeliner until it looked like he made it messy on purpose, finishing the look off with some mascara. He stole one of Thor's hair ties off the dresser and pulled his hair back in to a tiny ponytail. He huffed. A good bit of hair still fell back in to his face when he drew his hands away, but it showed off the shiny little studs decorating his freshly re-pierced ears, so it worked.

He snapped a quick selfie and sent it to his mom, telling her about his night out with Thor and how it ended up with him getting his ears re-pierced. He had already gone on a mini shopping spree to buy all the fun earrings he hadn't let himself indulge in since his college days, and it has been a struggle to not constantly check on his order status.

He set the phone aside and dug through piles of rings, bracelets, and necklaces, methodically picking each one he put on until he was satisfied. It was a lot, but definitely not nearly as much as he wore when he was a kid. He also wasn't wearing a bunch of cheap shit from Hot Topic now, so there was that.

His phone pinged. _They look wonderful! So happy for you, my handsome little boy. ❤  
_

Loki smiled and sent a quick thanks back to his mom, finishing up just as Thor came out of the bathroom, still dripping from his shower.

Thor stopped and blinked, gaze dragging up and down Loki.

Loki looked down at himself, picking a cat hair off his tank top. It was cheap, he had picked it up from the women's clearance section on a whim for a few bucks, but it was soft and he liked how it fit on him. This was the first time he'd worn it though, and he wasn't and edgy teenager anymore, he wasn't sure if he could really pull it off anymore.

"How do I look?"

"You look so fucking hot."

Loki burst out in laughter, yelping when he was swallowed up in Thor's arms a moment later.

"Ah, dammit Thor, you're still fucking wet!"

"Should've thought of that before you went and made yourself look all hot," Thor mumbled in to Loki's neck, his hands on Loki's hips.

Loki melted against his chest, his cheeks hurting from smiling so hard.

"Did you do the eyeliner because of me?"

Loki rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Well, you _were_ going on and _on_ the other night about how much you liked it..."

Thor let out a huff of laughter, resting his forehead on Loki's shoulder. "I was kinda drunk, you didn't have to do it."

Loki grabbed the towel Thor hand tightly wrapped around his hair, pulling his head up to look him in the face. "I already wanted to try wearing it again," Loki explained, "knowing how much you liked just made that much more enticing."

Thor smiled, wrapping his arms around Loki's waist and hugging him tightly as he dragged him in to a kiss.

Loki smacked his shoulder lightly as they pulled back. "Augh, you got me all wet now, get off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki's living his Best Life and Thor gets the No Titty Goth BF of his teenage dreams.


	15. Absinthe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki loses a firend and it's probably one of the better things he's done for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for sexual assault

Loki took a breath to brace himself. He wasn't even at the front door of the house and he could feel the bass of whatever shitty music playing in his chest. His face was fixed in a glare as he barged through the front door. He scanned the crowd for Amora or Lorelei as he marched through the packed living room. He sneered as some guy who collided with his shoulder.

"This is so fucking dumb."

He found Amora in the kitchen, flipping her hair and putting a whole show on as she flirted with some buzzed freshman who couldn't stop staring at her tits.

"Hey slut." The boy startled as Loki came up beside, blinking up at Loki before making a face and shuffling away.

"'Sup bitch," Amora replied, readjusting her top so her breasts hung out just slightly less.

"Lorelei not come with?" He hated having to shout over the music, his head was aching already.

"She's upstairs getting an STD from one of the guys on the soccer team," she explained, "it's not even one of the good ones either, I'm pretty sure he's on the B team."

Loki found the cups and grabbed a random bottle of something, just so his hands could have something to do. "You waiting for someone on the A team?"

Amora laughed, slapping him on the arm. "No, I wanted to make sure you didn't bitch out on me, plus, I just got an idea."

A nervous twist in his gut. "What is it?"

"You know how they do virgin sacrifices-?"

"I am not going to prison for you."

Amora laughed and slapped his arm again. "Shut up, I'm not talking about murder, I just mean- it's a full moon you know? I bet there's some sort of spell or ritual we could do..."

Loki frowned at her. "I don't think I've ever heard of something quite like that."

Amora scoffed at him and rolled her eyes. "Get fucking creative Loki, we don't have to do everything by a book.

There's bound to be some virgins here, we'll find one and go somewhere, and I'll take his virginity and you'll take his boy virginity."

"But why?"

Amora looked annoyed with him, grabbing him by the arm. "Why not? Don't be such a fucking prude."

Loki huffed, jaw clenched as she started dragging him around. She asked around if people were virgins, shameless as people looked at her like she was insane.

"Can we just dance or something for a little while," Loki offered, "no ones going for it."

"It would be easier to find someone if it was just me and Lorelei," she snapped back at him.

Loki's face felt hot with anger and embarrassment. He wrenched his arm from her grip and stormed off. He went out through the back, the rush of fresh air soothing some of his rage. He was making his way to the side of the house when he heard someone vomiting. He squinted in the dark as he saw someone bent and leaning against the wall, holding his stomach as he puked again. As he walked over he realized who it was.

Loki was just going to ignore Thor and keep going, forget this whole stupid idea of a party when Amora staggered over, calling for Loki.

"Goddammit, you uptight bitch," she grumbled as she walked over, heels sinking in to the grass.

Her eyes set on Thor, who watched them in a drunken haze.

Amora looked back at Loki, her lips quirking in to a small, malevolent smile. She went up to Thor, swaying as he stood from the wall.

She looked back to Loki, eyebrow raised. "What do you think?"

Loki blinked at her. She looked over Thor thoroughly, giggling at the snarling wolf face on his t-shirt.

"He's definitely a virgin," she said, looking back to Loki again. "And he's drunk enough that he won't even remember anything."

Loki's stomach turned. "That's not funny."

"I'm not being funny, there's a park we could go to that's only a few miles from here," she explained, "we could do it and then just drop him back here."

Loki blinked at her, shocked that she was so dead set on going through with this bizarre idea.

She looked back to Thor, her voice going low and soft. "Hey Thor, wanna go somewhere else and have some fun."

Thor looked confused, losing his balance and falling against the wall. Amora crowded against him, pressing herself against him.

"Don't you want to get laid?" she asked him, speaking each word slowly.

Thor was trying to get a grip on the wall and get on to his feet again, but Amora kept knocking him back. Loki's eye caught her hand moving as she pressed it between them. Thor's eyes went wide and he started trying to push Amora off, his protests slurred and distressed.

Loki snapped from his daze and yanked Amora off him. Her heels sunk in to the ground and she couldn't catch herself as she fell back, landing on her back with a cry.

"We're not fucking doing this bullshit spell," Loki barked at her.

Amora growled as she ripped her feet free from her shoes. "Stupid fag."

"Dumb bitch," Loki snapped back.

Amora yanked her shoes out of the dirt and got to her feet, glaring up at Loki.

"You've always been the weakest witch," she said with a sneer, "I only let you hang out with me because, to be completely honest, I've always kinda pitied you."

Loki ground his teeth as Amora stomped off.

"Hey Amora, I got a spell for you," Loki called out when she was nearly to the backyard. She paused, looking over her shoulder with a scowl.

"Suck as many dicks in there as you can, and maybe one of them will be dumb enough to drive you and your sister home."

Amora stomped off even harder, flipping her hair as she disappeared in to the house.

Loki huffed, shutting his eyes as he tried to slow the beat of his heart.

"Sorry."

Loki jolted, turning back to Thor after nearly forgetting he was there in the first place. Thor was still slumped on the wall, his legs losing the fight to keep him upright inch by inch.

"What the fuck did you drink?"

"The guys dared me."

"What?"

"The, uh-" Thor motioned, miming throwing a football sloppily, "they said if I could-" Thor burped, grimacing "-drink, I could stay at the party."

Loki sighed heavily, running a hand down his face. "Okay, whatever, let's just get out of here."

Thor straightened suddenly, eyes huge.

"I'm not gonna do anything weird, that was just Amora's stupid-"

"MY PARENTS CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki ends up bringing Thor home with him and has his parents check on Thor to just make sure he won't, like, keel over at any moment, and even with Thor drunk off his stupid little dork ass, his parents like him about 1000x more than any friend or boyfriend he's ever brought around lmao
> 
> (now I'm gonna HAVE to write Thor meeting the parents and one of them making the connection that it's The Same Thor that was drunk and wearing a wolf shirt from a million years ago)


	16. Cider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Thor to Meet The Parents

His mom was gonna be proud of the spread he had set up. He nudged the veggie platter again, then nudged it back. He nudged it again, it looked better over to the left, didn't it?

"Does this look okay?"

Thor looked up from his phone, looking utterly relaxed on the couch in a way Loki can't fathom being right now. "It looks fine, babe."

"Maybe I should put it where the spinach dip is?"

There was a beat of silence. "Loki, it's fine."

Loki huffed, aggressively pushing his hair behind his ears.

"I feel like you're more nervous about this than I am," Thor said. He tossed his phone on to the coffee table and stood, walking up to Loki and dragging him away from the snacks.

"You do remember that this is _your_ family, right?"

Loki sighed, sagging against Thor's chest. "I know. It's just that I've introduced them to so many garbage guys, I know they're going to be so..." Loki gestured with his hands. "I just want them to see how wonderful you are and not be all weird and... tough."

Thor chuckled, "and moving the veggies and spinach dip will help?"

Loki laughed as he smacked Thor's chest. "Shut up."

Thor hugged him tightly, squeezing until Loki let out a little grunt, and then just holding him, the beating of his heart slowing.

There was the patter of paws on the floor and then a soft thump as Morticia jumped on to the table.

Loki frantically escaped Thor's hold, snatching Morticia off the table. "No, no, no!"

Morticia meowed her annoyance, ears dropping.

Distantly, he could hear a car pulling in to the long driveway.

Loki's stomach dropped with nerves, all those nice relaxed feelings he just had disappearing. "Oh shit, they're here."

"Here, I'll go feed her, you go greet them," Thor said, carefully taking the cat from Loki.

Morticia meowed again, trying to climb up Thor's shoulder.

Loki nodded, absentmindedly running his hands over himself to make sure his outfit was sorted as he walked to the door. He could see from the big window in the living room his parents car as it pulled up behind his. He jogged up to the front door, giving himself one last look over in the mirror hanging above the coat hooks, taking one last deep breath before opening the door.

His mom was making her way up the front steps, beaming as she looked at the front of the house.

"Hi sweetheart," she hugged him as soon as she stepped inside, "it's even cuter than the pictures you sent me."

Loki helped her with her coat and purse cold air rushing in since he left the door open. "Where's everyone else?"

"They had to make a potty stop, they should be here in a few minutes."

Loki stuck his head out the door, brow furrowed as he saw his dad poking around near the side of the house. "What the hell is dad doing?"

His mom sighed. "He wanted to _check things out_ , I couldn't talk him out of it, I'm sorry sweetie."

Loki rolled his eyes, coming back inside and shutting the door behind him.

Thor was just coming back out of the kitchen as Loki lead her in to the living room.

"Where did you get all this nice furniture?"

"Thrift shops, mostly."

"Are you sure that's safe?"

"It's fine, mom."

Loki guided her away from the couch, with his heart beating faster, introduced her to Thor. Thor was perfect, unsurprisingly, smiling ans stooping down for a hug. His mom cooed about how handsome Thor was and how the pictures Loki sent didn't do him justice and how nice it was to finally meet after hearing so much about him. Loki was starting to relax, but that was expected, he knew him mom was going to be the easiest to win over.

He got nervous again when he saw Helblindi's van pull in, everyone filing out a minute later. His niece, Evy, sprang out from the backseat as soon as Lea released her, running and jumping around in the yard until his brother called her over.

He looked over to Thor, who gave him a reassuring smile as he grabbed Loki's hand and gave it a squeeze. The rest of his family piled in to the house, pulling Loki's attention in a million directions all at once as he greeted everyone. He was aware that Thor had gone up to his dad to introduce himself, and Loki couldn't help but to try and read his dad's face. He had his arms crossed, eyes narrowed like he was scrutinizing Thor.

"My god, he's wearing a grandpa sweater," Helblindi muttered to Byleistr.

Loki turned to glare at his brothers.

Lea was kind enough to smack his brother on the arm for him, before saying, "the house looks really cute."

Loki gave his thanks, and, unable to hold himself back any longer, sidled up to Thor.

Thor was talking about his job, and while Loki's dad didn't seem especially warm, he seemed less suspicious than Loki expected.

Laufey's brow furrowed deeper. "You know, you seem familiar..."

Loki's spine stiffened. Thor and Loki glanced at each other.

"Uh, well, we did actually know each other in high school," Loki explained, "so you might remember-"

Laufey snapped his fingers, making the connection. "Weren't you that kid Loki brought home because he was shitfaced?"

Thor let out an uncomfortable chuckle, while Loki buried his face in Thor's shoulder.

"Not my best moment..."

Byleistr stepped over from the snacks, squinting at Thor. "Oh yeah, I think I remember you, you were the wolf shirt kid, right?"

Thor sighed, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. He mumbled, "yeah, don't remind me..."

His brother laughed, smacking Thor on the arm. "That was a hell of a hangover, I bet."

"You know," his dad cut in, "even though you were so drunk you couldn't stand up without falling over, you were probably the most polite kid Loki's ever brought around." Laufey clapped a hand on Thor's shoulder, giving him friendly smile. "I just hope you can hold your liquor a bit better now."

"I definitely learned after that."

Helblindi called out from the snack area, "this spinach dip is great, where'd you get it?"

"Thor made it."

Helblindi looked over at Loki. "No shit?"

Their mom glared at them all. "Little ears!"

"He made the bread too," Loki added because _why not_.

Helblindi made a noise of surprise, stuffing his face with more.

"Uncle Loki?"

Loki looked down to see his niece at his feet, gesturing for him to get down. Loki squatted down, asking her what she needed.

"When you get married, can I be a flower girl?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor's gonna get called 'Wolf Shirt Kid' by Loki's brothers until the next family gathering when Loki titty twists them into submission.


	17. Oktoberfest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't think of anything, so have a glimpse in to Morticia's World.

The door was cracked open and all it took was a little push to slip inside. On the bed Morticia could see someone moving under the sheets. Her ears perked up, stalking closer to the bed.

_"Keep going,_ " a deep voice, Thor's voice, rumbled above, " _just like that."_

Morticia slowly stood on her hind legs, peering over the edge of the bed. There was bobbing and movement under the sheet and it had been _ages_ since anyone played with her! She was bored out of her mind, and it was just _so_ enticing.

She dropped down, flicking her tail and wiggling her butt, going still as she sprang up on to the bed. She attacked with abandon, grabbing and biting at whatever. There was screaming and flailing. She gripped harder, not letting up until she was grabbed by the scruff. She was still as Loki picked her up, a few nasty looking scratches bleeding on his shoulder.

"You're a real fucking brat sometimes, you know that?"

Morticia mewed pitifully, looking at her father with big, _please-forgive-me_ eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, because I can't think of anywhere else to put this dumb head cannon I have and I just Need to share it:
> 
> Morticia @ Loki: Hello, Father.  
> Morticia @ Thor: Hello, _💖Daddy💖_


	18. Tarot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki consults the cards on whether he should make a Dick Appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, it was taking me too long to get to The Smut (even when I manged to get Loki in nothing but a towel!) and it's sleepytime for me, so The Smut must wait and become tomorrow's entry. Consider this The Foreplay.

Loki stepped out of the shower, feeling no more relaxed than before he took it. There was another text waiting for him, from Thor. He picked his phone up and flopped on the couch in his towel.

They'd been talking constantly for the past month since Thor moved in, either over text or in person when they were both home. It made sense, Thor was new to the area, so he hadn't made any connections and didn't know his way around yet. And it was just _fun_ talking to Thor. Loki found himself getting that all too familiar thrill whenever his phone pinged. All that excitement about a new guy that always seemed _so_ promising. All the fantasies that ran through his head whether he tried to stop them or not. He wanted so _badly_ for it to be right this time.

He couldn't help but think about that spell and all the things he wrote about what he wanted. It felt like it had to be good to be true. Like, that could not have possibly worked _that_ well. Especially when Thor hadn't done more than very vaguely maybe flirted with him here and there.

Loki was in a tailspin. Was he supposed to wait? Should he make a move? Was Thor even interested in him like that now? Surely he was over his crush on Loki by now He probably realized at some point how dumb it was that he ever liked Loki in the first place...

This was agony, honestly.

He took a deep breath and opened the message from Thor.

He whimpered.

There was a shirtless Thor, _well_ , half his body and face was out of frame since the actual point of the picture was to show off the loaded up barbell just behind him. But still, he was shirtless and sweaty and smiling and all around just being very handsome.

"What the fuck are you trying to do to me," Loki grumbled to himself, aggressively typing out a congrats before letting the phone thump on to the floor so he could sulk some more.

"Mrrph." Morticia skulked silently from whatever dark spot she'd been sleeping in to gracefully leap up on to his chest.

"Ow."

Loki grunted and winced as she made herself comfortable, sighing heavily when she finally laid down.

"What do I do?" Loki whined, petting Morticia. "I wish I could get some sort of sign."

His phone went off. Loki pouted as he looked at the message.

_Thanks! I'm almost home now actually, wanna have lunch or something?_

Loki looked to Morticia. "Can that count as something?"

"Mrrow," she replied, eyes barely cracking open.

"Alright," Loki sighed. She jumped off him as he sat up, holding the towel at his hips as he went over the shelf where he kept his divination tools. He looked at his all his options, but one seemed to stick out over the rest.

He grabbed the velvet bag he kept tucked towards the back, bringing it to his altar and sitting down. He took a deep breath before opening it and pulling the old, tattered cards out. He didn't use his aunt Iris' cards often, they were delicate and he wanted them to stay as intact as possible, but it just felt like they were needed right now.

Maybe he was being just a little dramatic.

Whatever. He shuffled the cards carefully, thinking about Thor and wondering if was a good idea to pursue this. He kept his eyes shut and let his hands go.

The lovers card fell from his hands on to the table face up.

"Well that's more direct than expected."

Loki gnawed on his lip. It couldn't hurt to make sure, right? He barely got another shuffle in when another two cards slipped out of his hands. He flipped them over. Ten of cups and two of cups.

His heart was thumping. He was... excited? Scared? He was having a hard time telling at this point. There was thumping from the front steps, and he could see Thor coming up to his door through the front window. He hadn't even heard his car. Loki put the deck back in its bag, setting it aside and going to the door.

Thor's hand was in the air as Loki yanked it open, eyebrows rising as he took in Loki in his towel.

"Um, hey."

"Hey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aunt Iris is just trying to get her nephew some good dick finally.


	19. Offering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The turning point in which Loki finally gets to Start Living His Best Life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me two days to write this porn and I still kinda hate it. Don't know why it decided to be difficult, but at least the stuff around it is okay. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"Do you want me to come back-?"

Loki grabbed him by the threadbare, cut up t-shirt and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind them.

"Okay, I-" Loki gulped. "I'm really freaking out right now."

Thor frowned, looking concerned. "What's wrong?"

Loki stammered for a few seconds before the words started to flow out. "I really like hanging out and talking to you, you're funny and sweet and a dork and it's so fucking _cute_ , and I keep getting all- _fluttery_ , and I am constantly checking my phone to see if you've texted and I spend the day at work wondering what we'll have for dinner and come up with all these really embarrassingly mushy daydreams about doing things with you, and I did this spell the night before you moved in and I wanna think that maybe it worked but I have no idea if you even like me like that and my aunt Iris' cards said I should go for it, but at this point I feel like really can't trust my judgment with these things but I just-"

"Loki."

Loki's mouth snapped shut and Thor stepped closer. He gasped softy when Thor laid his hand on the back of his neck and wrapped his arm around Loki's waist, sweeping him in to a devastating kiss. Loki balled his fists in to the front of Thor's shirt, pulling as if he could get him any closer. His belly was doing flips, and he was sure Thor could feel his heart pounding like this.

They pulled away, breathing heavily, Thor still holding Loki close.

He chuckled softly, pulling Loki out of his daze.

"What?"

The corner of Thor's mouth twitched, smile broadening. "I can't believe I just kissed Loki Laufeyson."

Loki laughed hard, halfheartedly smacking Thor's chest, tension bleeding out of him. Loki's laughter tapered off as Thor's expression softened, his fingertips pressing gently in to Loki's skin.

Thor whispered, "I like you too."

Loki wrapped his arms around Thor's neck, pulling him in for another kiss. He grunted when he felt the towel finally go loose and puddle around his feet. Thor pulled back, his hands coming to rest on Loki's waist as his gaze fell.

Loki cleared his throat when the moment dragged on, pushing his damp hair back as his face became hot.

"Is it everything you ever hoped and dreamed for?" he joked, not totally able to hide the anxiousness in his voice.

Thor let out a breathless laugh. "Better."

Thor yanked Loki back to his chest, his hands moving all over him as he crushed his mouth against Loki's. Loki hummed, sliding his hands under Thor's shirt and writhing against him.

Thor pulled back suddenly, and Loki whimpered, trying to follow him with his mouth.

"Can we go somewhere where the cat can't watch?"

Loki looked over his shoulder to find Morticia perched on the back of the couch, watching them attentively.

"You pervert," Loki scoffed. He took Thor by the hand, leading him to his bedroom. Thor shut the door behind them as they stepped inside, stopping Loki before he could drag him to the bed.

"What?"

Thor laughed softly, pulling Loki closer. "I just want to take a second to appreciate this, okay?"

He ran a hand through Loki's hair, kissing Loki slowly. Loki melted at the way Thor held him, his hands finding their way to Thor's hair, pulling the hair tie out so he could bury his hands in it. Thor groaned in to his mouth, his hands tightening.

"Hang on."

Thor moved his hands to the backs of Loki's thighs and hoisted him up off the ground. Loki yelped and grabbed on to Thor's shoulders, both of them laughing as he carried Loki over to the bed. Loki let go, dropping on to the mattress with a soft grunt. Sprawled out and breathless on the bed, Loki watched as Thor undressed. He bit back a laugh when Thor struggled to smoothly take his shoes and socks off, any thoughts of laughing dying off when Thor pushed his shorts down his thighs.

“You know, I always assumed Darcy was lying when she said you were hung…”

Thor ran his hands over his face. “Oh my god-”

“How did she see you naked anyways?”

Thor quirked an eyebrow at him, climbing over Loki. “Is this really what you want to be talking about right now?”

“Mm, good point.”

Thor hummed, leaning in to kiss Loki again. Thor slowly lowered himself on to Loki, their cocks trapped between them. Loki ran his hands up and down Thor’s back, feeling his muscles flex as he began to roll his hips. Loki whimpered in to Thor’s mouth, the feeling of Thor’s cock against his teasing him and making him want more.

Their lips smacked as Loki pulled back. "Nightstand drawer."

Thor, face flushed and eyes black, nodded, getting up to shuffle over and get the lube. Loki shifted up higher on to the bed, making himself comfortable against the pillows. Thor climbed between his legs, dipping down to press a quick kiss to Loki again.

Loki arched his back and spread his legs wide for Thor as he squeezed some lube on to his fingers, enjoying how Thor spilled some after squeezing the bottle too hard.

"That's not fair."

Loki smirked. "After all the shirtless gym selfies you've sent me, this is what you deserve."

Thor smirked, tossing the bottle aside. "Remind me to send you even more, then."

Loki didn't get a chance to respond, his breath leaving him as Thor slipped a finger inside him. Loki groaned as Thor gently thrusted it in and out, quickly getting used to the sensation and pleading for more.

Thor held one of his thighs as he pushed a second finger inside him, squirming as Thor curled his fingers and moved faster, his breath escaping him in one long, slow whine. He dug his heels in to the bed and drove his hips on to Thor's fingers, needing more soon after.

"I'm ready," Loki huffed, reaching out for Thor.

"You sure?"

Loki nodded, pulling Thor to hover over him. The lube had rolled to rest at Loki's hip, and he grabbed it, pouring some out in to his palm. He looped one arm around Thor's shoulders while he reach down for Thor's cock. He watched Thor's face as he stroked him, his eyelashes fluttering as he thrusted in to Loki's hand.

Loki guided him down towards his hole, gasping as his cockhead pressed against him. "Go slow."

Thor nodded and hummed, hand tightening in to fists in the bedding. With Loki's hand holding him steady, he pressed his hips forward, eyelids drooping as he pushed inside. Loki groaned, toes curling as he was stretched open.

Loki held Thor's waist when he was buried inside him, panting harshly while Thor trembled above him. He encouraged Thor to move with a gentle push, Thor's deep sigh of relief gusting over his face.

Thor went slow, just like Loki asked. His mouth was a tight line, eyes shut and brow furrowed in concentration. Loki pushed his hair back off his face, his eyes blinking open and his whole face lighting up with a smile as he looked down at Loki.

Loki's heart was doing crazy things. Maybe this will work out, maybe that spell really did work. Loki wanted it too, so badly.

Thor started thrusting faster, knocking away all the fluffy thoughts floating through Loki's head. Loki groaned, pushing his hips up to meet Thor's. Thor hooked his arms under Loki's thighs, pushing his legs up higher before pumping in to him even faster.

Loki cried out and clawed at Thor's shoulders. He felt his orgasm already building, his muscles tensing as Thor drove in to him relentlessly.

"I'm close," Thor grunted, grinding his hips against Loki.

Loki whimpered, reaching down between them to stroke himself frantically. Thor's hips jerked, panting and groaning as he came, Loki spilling on to his belly while Thor was still grinding in to him.

Thor pulled out carefully and flopped down beside Loki, the both of them panting and gasping for air. Loki hissed as he dragged his lead filled legs together, Oh, he was going to be sore later.

Thor turned to his side, snuggling up to Loki, wedging an arm under his neck and wrapping the other around his waist. Loki smiled, turning over to face Thor.

Thor grinned at him, tucking Loki's hair behind his ear. He should have expected the next words to come out of Thor's mouth.

"I can't believe I just had sex with Loki Laufeyson."

Loki whacked him with a limp arm, making a half-assed attempt at turning away from a very giggly Thor.

" _I_ can't believe I still think your cute after making that joke again."

"I think you think I'm cute because I keep making that joke," Thor countered, beaming at him.

"I hate to think that you might be right," Loki grumbled.

Thor squeezed him, pressing a long, hard kiss to his lips. They released with a sigh, settling down. Loki dozed as Thor ran his hand up and down his back, soaking in the feeling of being so content.

Loki's eyebrows furrowed as something popped in to his head. "How did she see naked?"

Thor's hands paused. "Huh?"

"When did Darcy see you naked?"

Thor sighed heavily, his hand moving again. "Sophomore year she badgered me in to joining drama-"

"Mm, she tried get me to join too."

"-I think she tried to get everyone she knew to join, anyway, it was during a dress rehearsal and everything was chaos, and I had to change in to my second costume, but, uh, I couldn't change in front everyone because, well, you know..."

Loki peeled open his eyes to look at Thor. "Wait, you didn't-"

"I told you, I hate underwear! Always have."

Loki groaned, burying his face in Thor's chest. " _Thor_ , other people had to wear that stuff, you know."

"I know," Thor said, "but, like, I _didn't_ know back then, and I _really_ hate underwear."

Loki was shaking with nearly silent laughter, cheeks aching from smiling. " _Gross._ "

"You asked! And, anyway, I found one of the random closets and went to change in there, and all of a sudden Darcy's swinging the door open and I was _all out_."

"Oh my god," Loki giggled.

"She never let me forget it," Thor said, "she called me The Weapon of Ass Destruction for the rest of high school."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darcy u tried so hard to get Loki to see the big dicked light, but he just wasn't ready for it.


	20. Immortal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki will recruit literally anyone in to his breakup spell shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got to hang out with a very cute toddler today, which helped inspire this.

Helblindi sighed, resigned as he handed Loki a piece a paper with instructions written out on it. "Don't curse my baby or anything, alright?"

Loki scoffed as he ripped the paper out of his brother's hand before their parent's puppy could jump up and snatch it. "I'm not gonna curse her," he said, and then smirked. "I'm going to teach her how to curse other babies."

"Loki."

Loki held Evy up, grinning. " _Whose_ a little untapped well of divine feminine power?"

Evy shrieked happily and kicked her feet.

"Yes! You are!"

Helblindi rolled his eyes. "Don't do any weird shit to my baby." He bent down, scratching behind the puppy's ears, cooing at her, "you're gonna make sure there's no funny business, right Blackberry?"

"Go already," Loki snapped back, "don't keep your wife waiting."

Helblindi grumbled as he stood, leaning in to give Evy a final parting kiss on one of her chubby cheeks before finally slipping out the front door.

"Da!" Evy reached out for the shut door, her lip jutting out in to a very dramatic pout. She looked to Loki, big eyes already filling with tears. "Da?"

Loki hugged her close as she let out an ear splitting wail, taking her and the gigantic bag of necessities Helblindi brought with to the living room, the puppy at his heels. "I know, I know, but you get to hang out with Uncle Loki and then grandma and grandpa are gonna come home and it's going to be great, I swear."

She was still sobbing as Loki settled on to the couch with her. He searched through the channels until he found the age-appropriate cartoons for her, which seemed to be loud and colorful enough to distract her and hypnotize the tears away. It gave him a chance to go through his voicemails, hoping that one of the jobs he'd applied for would finally just _call him back_.

He groaned when he heard the first one, recognizing the voice in an instant. He didn't bother to listen to the rest of the sloppy, desperate begging that was going to follow, deleting the message instantly. He went glanced at the rest, noticing it was the same number over and over.

He groaned, his annoyance at this whole situation immeasurable. It wasn't bad enough that he had to leave his job and move back in with his parents _again_ , the asshole really had to go get a burner phone to try and keep begging for Loki to come back?

"You're lucky the only men you have to deal with are the ones you're related to."

Evy babbled something back at him.

"Exactly," Loki sighed, deleting the messages after he gave each one a quick listen to assuage his curiosity, his ex leaping back and forth between pathetic and angry. He blocked the number when he was done, laying his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"I gotta do something." He looked down at Evy. "What should I do?"

Evy looked away from the cartoon, blinking at him before mumbling something.

"Good idea."

  
  


Loki set Evy up in her play pen before setting about on getting everything ready for a spell. This time he didn't have much of his ex's stuff with him, so all he had was a few pictures and the birthday card he'd gotten for Loki three days after his birthday. With a few herbs, lighter fluid, an old metal bucket that was hanging around in the laundry room, and some matches, he could atleast do something.

Blackberry and Evy were busy entertaining each other, letting Loki have a few minutes to scribble down his ex-boyfriend's name on some paper. He set everything in the bucket and set it aside at the back door, bundling himself up before doing the same for Evy.

"Are you ready to help Uncle Loki do a spell?"

She giggled at him, squirming and kicking as he struggled to get her snow boots on.

"Exicting, isn't it?"

"Bah!"

"I know! He really does suck, doesn't he?"

"Bah!"

He carried her as he searched for one of Blackberry's toys, tossing it in to another room to distract her while he slipped outside.

"Can't have her lighting her ass on fire," he explained to Evy when she twisted around to look back in the house and babbled something at him. "She's cute, but there's a reason witches have cats."

"Cah?"

"Yep."

He trudged through the snow until they were a safe distance from the house, sinking the bucket in to the snow before he went about clearing off one of the patio chairs to set Evy in it.

Loki shivered as he sunk down in to the snow. He had to be quick or he was going to freeze. He pulled out the lighter fluid, matches, and the paper he wrote his ex's name on. He sprayed some of the lighter fluid in to the bucket first, setting the bottle down. Then, he took a few deep breaths, pouring his focus on getting his ex to leave him alone. With one last breath, he folded the paper.

"You will no longer think about me," he whispered, "my name will no longer pass your lips, I will be a distant memory."

He struck the match and lit the paper on fire, tossing it in to the bucket. Fire flared up from the bucket and Evy squealed, kicking her feet in excitement.

"We are done, now and forever." Loki stood, brushing the snow that stuck to his cold, wet knees. He went to Evy and picked her up, setting her in his lap as he sat back to watch the fire die out.

He filled the bucket with snow when there was nothing but smoldering ashes left, leaving it by the door. He unwrapped Evy from her many layers and set her back in her playpen, quickly changing in to dry, comfortable clothes.

"I don't know about you," he said as he picked Evy back up, "but I feel like I could use a little meditating now, how about you?"

"Guh?"

  
  


Farbauti poked her head in to Loki's room, frowning at the strange music playing. Loki sat on the floor of his childhood bedroom, eyes closed and spine straight, Evy sleeping in his lap.

Loki slowly opened his eyes. "Hi mom."

"Hi sweetie, is, uh, everything good?"

Loki nodded slowly. "We're meditating."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Evy's really good at it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, a new little witch is born.


	21. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghosts of bad friends past.

"I gotta find the bathroom around here," Loki grumbled, "I'll be right back."

Thor chuckled, watching as Loki scampered off towards the back of the store. Thor kept looking through the racks of clothes, passing the time by feeling up all the flannel shirts and trying to remember how many flannel shirts he already had. It couldn't hurt to have a few more, right? Loki liked to steal his anyway...

"Could you help me with something?"

Thor jumped, not realizing that someone had managed to sneak up that close to him. He smiled as he turned to the woman. She was dressed to the nines, her blonde hair and makeup styled meticulously, and his stomach turned with a sudden jolt of anxiety when he recognized her.

Amora smiled, seeming to not recognize him. She held up a slinky black dress, grinning at him. "I have a date tonight, and I really need a guys opinion."

"Uhh."

Amora held the dress against her body, smoothing a hand down her hip. "Do you think this dress would be too slutty for a first date? I wouldn't want the guy to get any ideas."

Thor was frozen, brain scrambling to figure out how to respond to this particular situation. Amora seemed unfazed by his lack of response.

"I mean, I'm not opposed to a guy getting ideas," Amora continued, leering at Thor, "it has to be a real special guy."

"I'm gay," Thor blurted out.

Amora sunk out of her pose, squinting at him. "Really?"

"Yup."

She pouted for a second, before going back in to Slinky Vixen Mode again. "You sure?"

Thor scoffed, "yeah."

Thor caught sight of Loki out of the corner of his eye, not sure if he should be relieved or not. His memories of their falling out and the aftermath don't exist or are foggy at best, but Loki has told him it was bad.

Loki stopped, multiple clothing racks still between them, his eyes narrowing. "Hi Amora."

Amora plastered on a fake smile. "Oh, Loki, didn't expect to see you here!"

Loki gave her the tightest Thor has ever seen back, strolling up to Thor and looping his arm around his.

Amora huffed almost silently, her smile twisting. "It's been _so_ long, hasn't it?"

"Really? Didn't seem long enough for me."

"Well, time hits us all anyways," Amora said with a stilted laugh, pointedly eyeing Loki, "some of us more than others."

"It does, doesn't it," Loki replied smoothly, smirking, "even with all the botox in the world."

Amora blinked at him, her smile tight as she dabbed at the makeup on her forehead before fussing with her hair. "So, what are you up too?"

"Just in town to visit family," Loki said, "nice dress, is it for something special?"

"Well, my husband has a very important dinner coming up-"

Thor coughed to cover up a laugh.

"Oh, someone married you?" Loki asked brightly, tilting his head.

"Almost two years now," she answered. She held up her left hand, wiggling her fingers to show off the big diamond ring on it.

She glanced at Thor before asking, "how about you?"

He hadn't wanted to disrupt the back and forth, but he couldn't help it. "So is it your husband that you're going on that _first date_ with?"

Amora's smile fell completely, the gears turning as she tired to think of a way to cover her tracks. She let out a forced laugh. "Oh, that? I was joking-"

"Really? Because I could have swore you were trying to come on to me."

Amora laughed again, too hard and too much. "What? No, I wasn't doing that-"

"Oh wow, hitting on someone else's boyfriend when you're already in a relationship? That's almost _too_ predictable for you." Loki looked to Thor, looking incredibly satisfied. "Wanna get out of here, Thor?"

Thor could see the spark of recognition in Amora's expression. He laughed as he smiled back at Loki, taking his hand. "Yes, please."

Loki started leading them through the racks, stopping briefly for a quick kiss.

"Wait, are you the Thor with all the wolf shirts!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amora is definitely the 3rd wife to some middle aged, moderately wealthy personal injury lawyer and shills Arbonne and Young Living by passive aggressively calling new moms fat and lazy on facebook. Her husband's adult children hate her and disrespect her every chance they get. Even the dog doesn't like her.


	22. Borderlands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki the unintentional fortune teller

The cafeteria was loud, as usual, not the best place to ground yourself and concentrate, but Loki did what he needed to do.

Darcy, her face puffy and splotchy from crying, sat across from him, looking determined and ready crumble at any moment. "I need to know when me and Ian will get back together."

Loki rolled his lips, shuffling his cards slowly. "That's not really how tarot works..."

"I need to know!" Her voice cracked as she shouted loud enough for the group sitting at the other end of their table to stop their conversation and look their way. Loki glared their way before looking back to Darcy.

"We'll see what the cards have to say."

Darcy sniffled and nodded. Loki sighed heavily as he shuffled. He was gonna have to do so much bullshitting, why did he ever tell her he started reading tarot...

He cut the deck and started pulling cards. Just a few, to start at least.

He flipped the first card. Death.

"Oh no," Darcy sobbed, burying her face in a wrinkled tissue.

Loki soldiered on, flipping the next two cards. Three of swords and two of cups reversed. _Ugh._

"Hey, don't freak out," Loki started, cautiously, scrambling to come up with something, "it's not, like, totally bad."

"Draw more cards," Darcy demanded through her tears.

Loki huffed. This was going to be impossible.

She slapped her hand on the table. "Hit me!"

"It's not blackjack."

She sobbed, "I don't care."

Loki drew more cards, not even really paying attention at this point, just trying to come up with something to placate Darcy.

"Okay, okay, I'm seeing something here."

Darcy perked up, leaning over to get a better look. "Really?"

"Yeah, you see, it's bad right now," he said, gesturing at the original cards, "but it kinda needs to be, it looks like Ian has some stuff he needs to work through."

Darcy furrowed her eyebrows, pouting. "What kind of stuff?"

"Uh, childhood trauma?" Loki tapped his fingers on the table. "He got any of that?"

Darcy looked away as she thought, frowning more deeply. "His parents are divorced."

"Was it a bad divorce?"

Darcy shrugged. "Not really? But that can still mess up a kid, right?"

Loki's eyes widened, nodding slowly. "Oh yeah, real bad."

"Yo-you think that's why he broke up with me?"

"I mean, I can't say for sure, but it might have given him some sort of fear of commitment?"

Darcy nodded along, eyes scanning over the spread of cards between them. "Do you think he'll work though it by prom?"

Loki sputtered. "Sure, I don't see why not."

Darcy beamed at him, fresh tears in her eyes. She jumped out of her seat and ran around to hug him.

Loki yelped as half his face was suddenly buried in boob, her arm wound around his neck just a little too tight.

"Thank you so much, you're the best," she wept, squeezing him as he squawked and tried to escape her hold.

The bell rang, and for once Loki was grateful for it, gasping as he was freed. Darcy went back to her side of the table, gathering her things while Loki gathered his cards and put them back in their box.

"Thank you so much," Darcy gushed, "see you in chem!"

'See ya," Loki said, waving her off as he hoisted his backpack on his shoulders.

He was ready to leave when someone tapped on his arm.

Loki turned around to face the girl that shifted nervously before him. "Were those tarot cards?"

Oh no. "...Yeah."

"Do you, like, read for anyone? Or is it just friends?"

Loki's gonna need to start charging for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TeenageLoki @ every girl that forces him to read about some dumb boy that's broken her heart: YOU'RE 17 PLEASE CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
> 
> Also TeenageLoki, when the dumb boy breaks _his_ heart: IF THE CARDS DON'T TELL ME HE'S GONNA COME CRAWLING BACK TO ME I _WILL_ LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE.


	23. Ressurected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can take the Wolf Shirts off the Wolf Shirt Kid, but you can't get the mom to stop buying Wolf Shirts.

Loki thanked the delivery guy, looking at the address on the package as he shut the door.

"Who was it?"

"Delivery guy, we got something from your mom."

Loki could hear the interested noise come from the kitchen, the two of them meeting on the couch. Thor sliced open the tape with scissors and ripped the box open.

"Did she mention sending you something?"

"I don't think so?" Thor answered, pulling out some packs of incense.

"Ooh!" Loki snatched the boxes from Thor's hand, looking at the scents and sniffing them.

Thor pulled out a note, smiling as he read, "Just thought I'd send some goodies to brighten your day -Love, Mom."

" _Aww_." Loki dug in to the box, finding a bag of catnip for Morticia. Loki jumped up, clutching the incense and catnip. "I'm gonna light one of these and get 'Tish high."

Thor chuckled behind him, digging around in the box a bit more before letting out a groan.

"What?"

Loki turned back and burst out in laughter before Thor could reply. Thor, unamused, held up a tie-dyed t-shirt with a giant photo of a wolf on it.

"How the hell does she keep finding these?" Thor exclaimed, looking in the box again. He let out a distressed noise, pulling out a fistful of clothing and shaking it in the air. "She sent four! _Four!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Thor, it's been like, a decade of trying to nicely tell his mom he doesn't really like those shirts anymore, but Frigga is just, like, blinded by Maternal Love or something and just thinks He Looks So Handsome in those shirts and keeps buying them.


End file.
